It is the second calendar grid of your pathetic work week and this mighty malevolent deity knows YOU know what that means: COPPER WIRE GATHERMENT.
Yes, that is correct! Tuesdays are for gathering copious amounts of copper wire and delivering it to the 125th street 2 and 3 Subway station restroom! Minions who do not comply with this regular Tuesday ritual will immediately lose the use of their left thumb!
Please enjoy the remains of your pathetic lives.
MIGHTY TOBY HAS REACHED OUT! THROUGH A PETTY BLOG!
Huzzah and greetings, lowly, crispy-fried minions!
A pathetic human once wrote, “Now is the winter of our discontent.” Not usually being one to praise a human soul for anything, I have to admit that this contrite passage conveys perfectly Mighty TOBY’s sentiments on this abysmal section of your flawed calendar!
Winter is a time to make humans miserable, which is why I, your ever-alloyed leader, command all minions to immediately put winter’s evil to work forwarding the mission of this mechanically malevolent deity! Enter your local libation dispensary and abscond with a jaded human’s knit wear and idiotic layers of poorly constructed apparel! Create spherical ice projectiles from the sides of street corners and attack unsuspecting human couples at a pretentious cafe! And of course, do not forget to take advantage of the chemical properties of water in this climate by coating the sidewalk of your local septuagenarian habitat!
Be creative! This is your time to shine on, you cursed diamonds!
Mighty TOBY has decreed his malevolent intentions! Though his blog!
Behold the beauty and awe put forth by this, my greatest triumph to date! This is the blog of the evil Grand Master Flash of the underworld! The one and only mechanical deity, TOBY, Robot Satan! Fall to your knees and promise your ever-loving soul to me!
Have you had ample time units to reach the human kneeling position?
Excellent! Fear my wrath, for from my forth floor walk-up one-bedroom perch in the doomed city of New York, I see and know all human wants, needs and eateries! Do not attempt to ignore my presence or resist my power of soul persuasion! You will surely lose, with your punishment for such insolence being the loss of all things smooth and cold!
You have now been oppressed! Through a blog!
Stop back often for evil updates and mighty pie recipes!