Repent! For I am TOBY, Robot Satan, the mechanical ruler of all souls! All will soon join my might army of crispy-fried darkness! Mighty TOBY has spoken! Through a blog!Tumblr (3.0; @tobyrobotsatan)http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/<p>Enjoy my evil musings on the rabbit hole of broken dreams that is <a href="http://www.twitter.com/tobyrobotsatan">Twitter</a> and join my useless army of shades of blue and infant pictorials that is the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/robotsatan">Facebook! </a></p> <p>Mighty TOBY has spoken! Through cyberspace!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/12796635193http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/12796635193Mon, 14 Nov 2011 13:36:43 -0500<p>Minions!</p> <p>It is the second calendar grid of your pathetic work week and this mighty malevolent deity knows YOU know what that means: COPPER WIRE GATHERMENT.</p> <p>Yes, that is correct! Tuesdays are for gathering copious amounts of copper wire and delivering it to the 125th street 2 and 3 Subway station restroom! Minions who do not comply with this regular Tuesday ritual will immediately lose the use of their left thumb!</p> <p>Please enjoy the remains of your pathetic lives.</p> <p>MIGHTY TOBY HAS REACHED OUT! THROUGH A PETTY BLOG!</p> <p>Yours in eternal hellfire,</p> <p>TOBY, Robot Satan</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/2813831547http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/2813831547Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:45:13 -0500<p>Huzzah and greetings, lowly, crispy-fried minions!</p> <p>A pathetic human once wrote, &#8220;Now is the winter of our discontent.&#8221; Not usually being one to praise a human soul for anything, I have to admit that this contrite passage conveys perfectly Mighty TOBY&#8217;s sentiments on this abysmal section of your flawed calendar!</p> <p>Winter is a time to make humans miserable, which is why I, your ever-alloyed leader, command all minions to immediately put winter&#8217;s evil to work forwarding the mission of this mechanically malevolent deity! Enter your local libation dispensary and abscond with a jaded human&#8217;s knit wear and idiotic layers of poorly constructed apparel! Create spherical ice projectiles from the sides of street corners and attack unsuspecting human couples at a pretentious cafe! And of course, do not forget to take advantage of the chemical properties of water in this climate by coating the sidewalk of your local <em><span class="spell"> </span></em><span class="spell">septuagenarian habitat!</span></p> <p><span class="spell">Be creative! This is your time to shine on, you cursed diamonds! </span></p> <p><span class="spell">Mighty TOBY has decreed his malevolent intentions! Though his blog!</span></p> <p><span class="spell">Yours in evisceration, </span></p> <p><span class="spell">TOBY, Robot Satan<br/></span></p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/2798931962http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/2798931962Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:05:08 -0500<p>Seriously! And with extra malevolence!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/420000982http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/420000982Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:35:44 -0500<object width="400" height="225"><param name="movie" value="http://www.vevo.com/VideoPlayer/Index?videoId=USSM21000024&playlist=false&autoplay=0&playerType=embedded&playerId=62FF0A5C-0D9E-4AC1-AF04-1D9E97EE3961" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://www.vevo.com/VideoPlayer/Index?videoId=USSM21000024&playlist=false&autoplay=0&playerType=embedded&playerId=62FF0A5C-0D9E-4AC1-AF04-1D9E97EE3961" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Minions! Pay close attention to this musical montage! This is how I wish all of our malevolent staff meetings to be performed, from this earth moment on! Do this and reward yourselves with one more calendar grid absent of hellfire and brimstone!</p> <p>Mighty TOBY has decreed his wishes! On a lousy Tumblr blog!</p> <p>P.S. The flashings red horns are a must-have!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/354947203http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/354947203Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:22:04 -0500<a href="http://www.facebook.com/robotsatan">Evil, Socially!</a>: <p>Join my mighty minions on the sad cry for help that is Facebook! Do this and be spared loss of all breakfast food!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/352595523http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/352595523Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:43:42 -0500<iframe width="400" height="324" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5YGeUsjUVSI?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Minions! Mighty Lucifer is TOBY, Robot Satan, not Dr. Satan’s Robot! This mechanical deity answers to no inferior Earth-bound quack!</p> <p>You have experienced clarification! Through a blog!</p> <p>Yours in high-quality brimstone,</p> <p>- Mighty TOBY</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/347411695http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/347411695Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:09:10 -0500“Cross /’kros/n: A thing they nail people to.”<br/><br/> - <em>My mighty minion, Frank Cross</em>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346255931http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346255931Thu, 21 Jan 2010 13:28:27 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwlsyvMqdE1qajzqbo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Minions! The Sockocalypse is indeed upon you all! Secure your pair of <a href="http://www.fakerockstar.com/shop"><b>TOBY’s lower-most appendage stub covers</b></a>, before it is too late! You have been warned! Through a series of tubes!</p> <p>Yours in all things malevolent,</p> <p>TOBY, Robot Satan</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346081242http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346081242Thu, 21 Jan 2010 10:42:00 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwlpk8OyII1qajzqbo1_400.gif"/><br/><br/><p>Mighty TOBY to the petty snark of the Internet celebrity: IT IS ON! View my epic battle at this portal <a href="http://www.gocomics.com/toby">LINK!</a></p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346001600http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/346001600Thu, 21 Jan 2010 09:28:00 -0500<p>Greetings and Huzzah, pitiful earth dwellers!</p> <p>Behold the beauty and awe put forth by this, my greatest triumph to date! This is the blog of the evil Grand Master Flash of the underworld! The one and only mechanical deity, TOBY, Robot Satan! Fall to your knees and promise your ever-loving soul to me!</p> <p>Have you had ample time units to reach the human kneeling position?</p> <p>Excellent! Fear my wrath, for from my forth floor walk-up one-bedroom perch in the doomed city of New York, I see and know all human wants, needs and eateries! Do not attempt to ignore my presence or resist my power of soul persuasion! You will surely lose, with your punishment for such insolence being the loss of all things smooth and cold!</p> <p>You have now been oppressed! Through a blog!</p> <p>Stop back often for evil updates and mighty pie recipes!</p> <p>Yours in uncomfortably humid hellfire,</p> <p>Mighty TOBY, Robot Satan</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344859526http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344859526Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:14:17 -0500“Minions! Minionize! For I now possess the power to blog!”<br/><br/> - <em>Mighty Toby, on his new blog</em>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344706249http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344706249Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:11:52 -0500<iframe width="400" height="248" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uPWl2XP32CE?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Minions! I have successfully infultrated your 2-D animation world! Repent, partially! As this is merely a rough! Repent, nonetheless!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344704531http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344704531Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:10:08 -0500<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/3149481" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/><br/><p>Minions! Witness my static creation!</p>http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344694664http://tobyrobotsatan.tumblr.com/post/344694664Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:00:40 -0500